Sunday, February 27, 2011

Huh, been a long time since I posted a blog....

I really have been down in the dumps about this whole weight loss journey and I really and seriously considered just saying "screw it" and quitting but....I didn't.

I went back to Weight Watchers and weighed in on Feb. 18th, 2011 and I had lost .8 tenths of a pound.  Sure, not much, BUT, it was a loss and as I say, any loss is a good loss!  So that actually helped me to re-focus my efforts on this weight loss journey.  I really needed that little boost too because, as I said, I was very close to quitting. 

Quitting is such a bad idea though because weighing almost 400 pounds is such a bad, bad thing!  I don't feel well...almost always.  The times that I actually feel good physically are few and far between because something always hurts; joints etc. or I just plain don't feel well.  And when I don't feel well, I don't do anything but lay around which is pretty much how I got where I am; almost 50 years old and almost a total cripple.  It's embarrassing that my dad gets around better than I do and he's 100% disabled from the military  and he's 76, can barely breathe or move, has a pace maker and is in very poor health.  And I am more lame than him a lot of the time.  That is freaking SAD!

Then emotionally, I hate how I feel.  I feel bad physically and that affects my emotional stability.  In fact, lots of times, it's like, huh, WHAT emotional stability?  I take 50 mg. of zoloft every day to keep me somewhat even, emotionally.  The zoloft also helps me not to just sit there and cry and I don't have quite the anxiety attacks like I used to (thank goodness!). 

This weight loss journey is HARD!  Plus I hate it but then I hate everything when I don't feel well, darn it!

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