Weigh In & Absolute Despair....Day Unknown

I gained weight.  At weigh in my weight was 393 pounds.  I was shocked!  I had tracked the food I ate and I had been more active and I gained 3.8 pounds!  I couldn't stay for the Weight Watchers meeting because I had to go sit in the van and cry for awhile.  I was devastated.

I felt as if my body had betrayed me.  I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I DID NOT do anything to justify gaining weight!  And yet there it was, the scale read that I had gained weight.  And not just a pound, but almost four pounds!  OMG! 

At the very least, I should have been able to pick something that I ate during the week that would justify such a weight gain but no, I could not.  Now, this past week was very hard on me, from a physical standpoint.  I have been in so much pain.  My joints have been bothering me quite a bit and I have not been able to function without taking my pain medication.  In fact, I've been taking quite a few pain meds.

Before I left the scale, the WW leader did mention that when your body is in pain and you are taking more pain medications, that it can cause your body to gain weight.  Okaaaayyyy.

I don't know what think about the whole thing.  I know I want to quit eating food completely but, that's not practical (ok, I admit, it's stupid!).  I know I want to quit Weight Watchers because what's the point?  But again, that's stupid and will end up killing me in the long run and probably sooner, rather than later. 

I'm discouraged and depressed.  I'm not entirely certain what to do.  I guess I will have to think about it some more and keep on tracking the points for the food I eat.  I don't know exactly what to do other than that.  But all I can say is, this freaking sucks!