I am not doing well with the weight loss journey. In fact, my journey is currently stalled. That undeserved weight gain threw off my entire plan, my entire life and I am having trouble getting back on track. I haven't fully given up though but, I am having serious depression and a super bad case of the "who cares?"
I'm really worried....
Showing posts with label weight gain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight gain. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Ready to Quit, Already....
I'm still fighting off the depression and shock I had from the scale at weigh in. I don't want to quit Weight Watchers but, I DO want to quit Weight Watchers. I almost feel like the whole thing is pointless. This was actually one of my huge fears about joining Weight Watchers in the first place; that I could not lose weight.
Not too long after I was first diagnosed as a diabetic, I was actively trying to lose weight and instead, I gained and gained and gained. The doctor I had at that time verbally chastised me that she could not help me if I would not help myself. At the time though, I WAS actively trying to lose weight and I had no idea what the heck was happening; how could I be gaining so much weight?
It wasn't until a few years later that another, a doctor who specialized in diabetes, told me that the medicine I was on at the time, Actos, will cause weight gain. And not just a little weight gain but lots of weight gain, especially the higher the dosage you take. Huh, and I'd had that quack doctor telling me that I had to quit eating so much when THAT had nothing to do with the weight gain. What a mess! Some doctor cause more harm than good. That's been my experience anyway because when she told me that I had to quit eating so much, and I WAS eating right, proper portions etc., I felt hopeless, sort of like I'm feeling right now.
I am not sure how to get over this hurdle. I don't know if I will, or even if I CAN, lose weight. I need to make a doctors appointment and go in and talk to him. I just don't like going to the doctor, not since my surgery three years ago; giant ovarian mass removal with complications. Bleck!
I'm still thinking and pondering and wondering what to do about this whole situation. I just don't know what the answer is yet.
Not too long after I was first diagnosed as a diabetic, I was actively trying to lose weight and instead, I gained and gained and gained. The doctor I had at that time verbally chastised me that she could not help me if I would not help myself. At the time though, I WAS actively trying to lose weight and I had no idea what the heck was happening; how could I be gaining so much weight?
It wasn't until a few years later that another, a doctor who specialized in diabetes, told me that the medicine I was on at the time, Actos, will cause weight gain. And not just a little weight gain but lots of weight gain, especially the higher the dosage you take. Huh, and I'd had that quack doctor telling me that I had to quit eating so much when THAT had nothing to do with the weight gain. What a mess! Some doctor cause more harm than good. That's been my experience anyway because when she told me that I had to quit eating so much, and I WAS eating right, proper portions etc., I felt hopeless, sort of like I'm feeling right now.
I am not sure how to get over this hurdle. I don't know if I will, or even if I CAN, lose weight. I need to make a doctors appointment and go in and talk to him. I just don't like going to the doctor, not since my surgery three years ago; giant ovarian mass removal with complications. Bleck!
I'm still thinking and pondering and wondering what to do about this whole situation. I just don't know what the answer is yet.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Weigh In & Absolute Despair....Day Unknown
I gained weight. At weigh in my weight was 393 pounds. I was shocked! I had tracked the food I ate and I had been more active and I gained 3.8 pounds! I couldn't stay for the Weight Watchers meeting because I had to go sit in the van and cry for awhile. I was devastated.
I felt as if my body had betrayed me. I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I DID NOT do anything to justify gaining weight! And yet there it was, the scale read that I had gained weight. And not just a pound, but almost four pounds! OMG!
At the very least, I should have been able to pick something that I ate during the week that would justify such a weight gain but no, I could not. Now, this past week was very hard on me, from a physical standpoint. I have been in so much pain. My joints have been bothering me quite a bit and I have not been able to function without taking my pain medication. In fact, I've been taking quite a few pain meds.
Before I left the scale, the WW leader did mention that when your body is in pain and you are taking more pain medications, that it can cause your body to gain weight. Okaaaayyyy.
I don't know what think about the whole thing. I know I want to quit eating food completely but, that's not practical (ok, I admit, it's stupid!). I know I want to quit Weight Watchers because what's the point? But again, that's stupid and will end up killing me in the long run and probably sooner, rather than later.
I'm discouraged and depressed. I'm not entirely certain what to do. I guess I will have to think about it some more and keep on tracking the points for the food I eat. I don't know exactly what to do other than that. But all I can say is, this freaking sucks!
I felt as if my body had betrayed me. I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I DID NOT do anything to justify gaining weight! And yet there it was, the scale read that I had gained weight. And not just a pound, but almost four pounds! OMG!
At the very least, I should have been able to pick something that I ate during the week that would justify such a weight gain but no, I could not. Now, this past week was very hard on me, from a physical standpoint. I have been in so much pain. My joints have been bothering me quite a bit and I have not been able to function without taking my pain medication. In fact, I've been taking quite a few pain meds.
Before I left the scale, the WW leader did mention that when your body is in pain and you are taking more pain medications, that it can cause your body to gain weight. Okaaaayyyy.
I don't know what think about the whole thing. I know I want to quit eating food completely but, that's not practical (ok, I admit, it's stupid!). I know I want to quit Weight Watchers because what's the point? But again, that's stupid and will end up killing me in the long run and probably sooner, rather than later.
I'm discouraged and depressed. I'm not entirely certain what to do. I guess I will have to think about it some more and keep on tracking the points for the food I eat. I don't know exactly what to do other than that. But all I can say is, this freaking sucks!
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